The feeling of going home always lingers. We miss our old raggedy pillow. We yearn for our own bed. We desperately want to wake up in our own house. Okay, so when we actually get there, what do we do? Nothing. You crave the finality of being home, settled, organized, routine and being in your comfort zone.
Think about it, birds have a nest, foxes have a hole, spiders have silky webs (which, we as humans love to destroy every chance we get). The average spider spends roughly an hour constructing their web and unfortunately has to reconstruct it everyday. Anyways, the premise of being home is such a weird feeling. Can it be beaten? It's your dependable daily Starbucks trip, the consistently delicious steak burritos from Chipotle and family vacations to Ocean City where you sit on the beach and stare at the ocean all day. It's the comfort zone. You know EXACTLY what you're going to get. It's not that your simple, or boring or even different, it's truly a sense of relaxation because the unknown is stressful. Being out of your comfort zone can be really taxing both mentally and physically. In all my years of sales, I have been in front of CEO's asking for millions of dollars and I've also been in front of small business owners asking for a couple grand. Both are super invigorating, but require focus, energy, discipline, quick wit, memory recall and a the list goes one. When the meetings or day of meetings culminate, you should be completely drained. Well, that's what it's like on the road when you are away from "home".
Luke, this is a stupid post, I already know that I like home, what are you getting at? Being as transparent as I can through this whole process, people keep asking me how I am not working. The financials start with me not having any debt, other than the house I own in North Carolina. That house is being rented for the same cost as my mortgage, so it's a wash. My place in San Diego is fully furnished with my possessions, but I have a full-time roommate living in one bedroom and my bedroom is being rented out on Airbnb. After all the bills are paid, that too nets even. When I first came up with the idea to have roommates again and offset expenses, it seemed genius. It was validated when I accepted a long term Airbnb request a couple weeks ago. After old man creeping on her Facebook page, it seemed foolproof to have an attractive 22-year old from Milan, Italy to be nestled up on my pillows, rolling around in my sheets and snuggling up with my favorite blanket at night. But the text I received last week informing me that my innocent Airbnb'er had two fellow Italian men sleep over after they all returned from the bars at 3am quickly turned my soft porn visions into a XXX hardcore reality. That wasn't part of the agreement. That's my bed, that's my home, that's gross.
My point for this post is that through the first 38 days of this venture, I've been gung-ho to get everything up and running and bounce around the country on this mission. The nostalgia has not worn off, but it does have ups and downs. The down is when you look to center yourself by returning home to recharge, it's not available. It's wanting to get back to home-base to see your friends, sleep in your bed, regain the comfort and simple morning traditions of putting on my UGG slippers, watching SportsCenter on my giant plush couch with my favorite coffee mug in hand. Instead, I'm house to house on the floor or blow up air mattress and constantly sifting through my suitcase to find a clean outfit for the day. I'm in San Diego right now and for the first time in a couple years, it does NOT feel like home. Is it because ole gang bang is currently in my room with the door locked and my other roommate is sitting five feet away barking out insurance data since she works from home, my home, my old home?
Ironically, it's all a good thing. This is perfect. I could not ask for a better setup. No, I'm not just saying that because I'm going to go Michael Douglas in Falling Down if I don't suppress these feelings. It is actually ideal for this venture that I do squash the comfort zone and excitement of being home. I don't want a home, I want to be chaotic, unsettled, unorganized and not rely on any comfort zone amenities. I'll hit the road on Friday morning, with no return date...
